一支笛子的大合奏

平时只会太过依赖他人的我也有今天了。今天晚上的大合奏，笛子班只剩下孤零零的我一个人了。第一次一个人与一大班其他乐器的人一起合奏，也就是说，只要稍微有一点出错就完蛋了。平时不用功的我，果然，拍子走得非常明显，而且也有很多地方都不会进。总觉得有点内疚，因为我，整首歌都给毁了。哎~~~

Moody~~~

Recently I am not in a good mood. There are many things that I did and things that I said that will cause me to feel bad. And there are things around me that keep me away from being happy. My decision, my words, my action, my talking. It seems like I am doing things that will lead me feeling bad. I need to be alone, for the time being, or maybe for this whole year. It is not happy at all to hide my feeling, to face it like nothing has happen which in fact I mind it so much. But, that is me, a person that has hide and run from the reality, living in my own world. I don't think that I am happy at all.

1st time

1st time perform Chinese Orchestra on stage at Dewan Budaya. Feel like the 1st two song pass very fast but the third song I was nervous and my hand is shaking. Anyway, just treat this as a trial performance before the concert. About quitting SOC after the concert, I am still in consideration,  I should consult some people about this.

I am really so terrible!!! Cant forgive myself!!!

Today I have done something that was very bad. I hit my friend's back very hard, not to mention that she is a girl. I don't want to explain much about the detail, all I can say is that it was all my fault, I shouldn't have done that, I don't think I will be able to forgive myself, so I don't dare to beg for her forgiveness as well. I will try to keep a distance from her starting now cause I don't want the same thing to be repeated. I am really really sorry for what I have done to her, but sorry cant solve anything. I am really a terrible guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

持续一个礼拜的华乐集训营

这些日子里都过得还蛮开心的，接下来的我只想用一首歌的歌词来表达。

我很想爱她 但是眼睛在说谎
隐瞒比较容易吧 免得感情变的复杂
我很想爱她 但是理智在吵架
退出可能解围吗 谁能给我一个好的回答
如果 再舍不得
这样下去 我们每个人都是受害者